How do I overcome my fear of failure? 

 September 2, 2021

By  Laszlo Rem

Think about what failure means to you

"As a leader, you have to learn how to overcome your fear of failure. Failure is not your enemy; it's what makes success possible." -Wayne Dyer

The greatest obstacle that stands in the way of success is often your own self-doubt or lack of confidence. Fear of failure can be crippling; it can prevent you from taking risks and doing what needs to be done to get ahead. Of course, there are some fears that are grounded in reality: the risk of being laid off or having your business go under for example--but these are not insurmountable ones if you take action now with a positive attitude and an open mind!

How do I overcome my fear of failure? This is a question many leaders ask themselves, but the answer isn't as easy as it seems. Failure can be so scary to some people that they never take on any opportunities at all. However, there are ways you can stop being afraid of failing and start being afraid of not trying!

Wayne Dyer said "You will have failed if you don't try." And this couldn't be more true for overcoming your fear of failure. If you're scared to take on new opportunities because you may fail, then you won't ever know if things would have turned out differently or better had you put in the work first. You'll just always wonder what could've been!

Failure can be a good teacher, and helping you trough hardships. Although, you don't need to keep hardships in order to expand. There are many fears that may stop us from reaching our goals because we believe they will bring failure. However, it’s important not to let fear of failing hold you back if there is something you want so much!

What does failure mean for you?

How do I overcome my fear of failure? Many leaders struggle with this issue, but there is no simple response. Failure can teach people valuable lessons which help them grow into better individuals however some people tend to over think this idea and become afraid of trying anything at all due to what might happen if things go wrong or what would others think about me.

Most of the people even avoiding start something new, because they believe that this is how everything will go wrong and their life will suck. So, when we think about it, not all failures are bad or negative in any sense. Some people might say “failure confirms man’s not perfect” but remember one thing no matter what happens always keep trying because practice makes a person perfect eventually so don't be afraid to try something new!


What if I told you that the only thing standing between your dream and reality is a fear of failure?

Fear itself prevent you to move forward. It is a kind of prison that you keep yourself in.

If we take an example from poet Robert Frost’s poem “The Road not taken,” he says Two roads diverge in the woods and I took the one less travelled by and it has made all the difference

So, don't be afraid to try something new because what if your life would have been different had you tried? What if things could have been better or easier for you had you only followed your heart instead of listening to others? So at least give it a shot before dismissing any idea as foolishness. There's no such thing as failure just feedback so always remember this that there are two types of mistakes: those who learn nothing their mistake, and those who stop dreaming, and just feel the freedom of their choice.

 Fear is good! Don't get me wrong! We need fear in order to avoid life-threatening mistakes. Fears helps us to take our palms away from fire. It's okay to be afraid of something! Just remember that there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy fears.

What fears are unhealthy?

It is important to recognize the difference between fears that are beneficial and damaging. The most common fear in our life, is probably the fear of failure! Fear makes us hesitate when we should act quickly. Fearing failing can be paralyzing because you will never know if you failed or not until it's too late. Those fears which makes you paralyzed for more than it should be, will be unhealthy for you. Fears should act like an alarm clock. Giving you a sign, and done.

The first step in overcoming this fear is to understand it.

What is it that you're afraid of? Losing what, or who? Maybe your fear lies in the responsibility. It could be a combination between all these things and more!

Your fears are there for a reason. Most of us created those, when we were young. Fearing failure can be a bad thing, but it's also your mind telling you not to do something. Which is good.

It serves its purpose for letting us know when we've crossed boundaries or limits on things such as responsibilities. When you feel this way again next time, remember how much control you have over these emotions by understanding them. And same with everything else in life: feelings are temporary so might as well enjoy them while they! But sometimes people get stuck

Once you understand your own operating mechanism, it will be much easier to identify the events when your fear programs are in control instead of your own decisions.

It's a very simple process of recognizing the moments when you feel compelled to do something that doesn't serve your best interest.

Sometimes it is even possible for individuals with history of abusing drugs and alcohol become sober while still being an addict because they have their own fear programs in place which can be just as strong, if not stronger than any craving. It may seem like addicts are powerless over these cravings until they understand how much power they actually have! We don't want them to keep repeating this vicious cycle (and neither should you). The good news is that once people stop focusing on what addiction wants from them, then life becomes fun again. You see, addiction hates positive energy so by cultivating positivity within yourself; it will work against itself.

If you're not willing to risk failing, how do you expect to succeed at anything in life.

I know, it's scary. But if you're not willing to fail then how do you expect anything in life to change. I know that sounds harsh but think about it for a minute: If people never failed at things, they would never get any better. This isn't a bad thing either because your failures are teaching you valuable lessons along the way and helping guide through hardships. Although, you don't need to keep repeating this vicious cycle (and neither should anyone else). Once people stop focusing on what addiction wants from them, then life becomes fun again.

Once you have identified your targets, it will be much easier to take the next steps.

It might also help to take stock of what the outcomes might be. What the worst outcomes might be. BUT!!!! Also consider what your successes might be.

Most people fail here when they set goals for themselves. They go through what could make their idea fail, and they want to achieve success without measuring the ones that could lead to success.

There are many societies, including many European communities, where we are not learning how to take risks. There are still so many wars and conflicts going on that the word risk paralyses many people.

Nor should we wonder why there is so much, almost visceral, resistance. We carry in our genes the programs that what does not work will wither and die. This is a necessary mechanism for evolution, but it can be harmful to our society.

In all these cases, the same thing happens: we look at what could go wrong rather than look at opportunities and possibilities that come from change. It's human nature to protect ourselves from risks that have been successful in the past. There are limits though. We need new ideas or they will disappear forever because no one would dare promote them and try them out as well as see if there is any merit behind this idea of change and innovation.

It may take time before you overcome your fear of failure, but know that every step you take brings you closer to success!

How does my environment impact my ability to succeed or fail, and what can I do about that?

The more you try, the better you get at it. Hang out with people who inspire and motivate you - they will push your limits further than if were doing this all alone! They also know how to deal with obstacles so that they never stop reaching for their dreams. This is what makes them great leaders! It may take time before you overcome your fear of failure, but know that every step you take brings you closer to success!

You can understand your environment in many ways. Often even in the most crowded places you can feel lonely.

It is very important to find people with whom you can mutually support each other. I'm not talking about encouraging each other. Perhaps the quickest way to get away from people who try to make you believe something is with empty phrases. I also don't see real support when someone only sees your faults and pushes you strongly in their direction.

-Remember to avoid clichés like "Don't be afraid of failure" or "You will learn from your mistakes". This is not entirely true. You can make the same mistake twice and it won't teach you anything, than?

-Try not to think about how bad things are, but look for opportunities in difficult times! Life has its ups and downs; everyone experiences these phases differently. However, if you want to become a successful person who knows their subject well enough, then you have to work hard on yourself every day! So what's stopping us? Do we really believe that there are people out there who were born with some kind of special talent while others don't have any chance at all?

Tips for overcoming your fears of failure:

  • Take risks in life! Do not be afraid to make mistakes, if you learn from them then it's worth it.
  • You are not alone in this world because there are people who have similar problems and concerns as you do. Just look around for someone that has the same mindset as you so let out all of your negative thoughts or feelings about failure with them! You can try discussing possible solutions together, whether they work or not does not matter at least you tried something different than just thinking about how bad things are going to turn out for yourself. And don't forget what I said earlier; failures help us grow stronger when we overcome them because their memory will always stay with us no matter where life takes us next!
  • Start to create targets rather than goals. And then take small steps to reach those targets. For example, if you want a promotion at work then your target could be "I'm going into work today and I will ask my boss about the possibility of advancement". This is achievable as long as you do not give up before it has been said! Having smaller goals gives us more success in achieving them because we are able to recognize when they have been completed which makes us feel good about ourselves. And don't let our failures or setbacks take that away from you!
  • Achievement Mentality- Believe that you can achieve anything rather than just hope for something better. By having this mentality, one should always keep trying despite how many times he/she may fail along the way because with each failure comes new opportunities.


The journey to success is not always easy. There will be bumps in the road, and there are many obstacles that can make your path more difficult. If you find yourself faltering on occasion, don't worry! Failure does not mean defeat; it means opportunity for growth if you take the time to analyse what went wrong and how to fix it next time around. You might also want to learn about our services to help you get unstuck along the way.

We offer all sorts of programs tailored just for this purpose - from one-on-one coaching sessions with an expert coach who understands failure better than anyone else (including ourselves) or group workshops where we walk participants through their fears together so they feel safe enough explore them at The Real Shifter Academy.

Some references


n. a basic, intense emotion aroused by the detection of imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism by triggering a set of physiological changes. These include rapid heartbeat, redirection of blood flow away from the periphery toward the gut, tensing of the muscles, and a general mobilization of the organism to take action (see fear response; fight-or-flight response). Fear differs from anxiety in that the former is considered an appropriate short-term response to a present, clearly identifiable threat, whereas the latter is a future-oriented, long-term response focused on a diffuse threat. Some theorists characterize this distinction more particularly, proposing that fear is experienced when avoiding or escaping an aversive stimulus and that anxiety is experienced when entering a potentially dangerous situation (e.g., an animal foraging in a field where there might be a predator). Whatever their precise differences in meaning, however, the terms are often used interchangeably in common parlance.

10 Surprising Facts About Failure

Guy Winch Ph.D. | Posted January 6, 2015

“Failure is always a demoralizing and upsetting experience. You cannot always control whether difficult things happen to you in life but you can control, to a large extent, how you react to them. Failure makes your mind trick you into believing things that aren't true. Unless you learn to respond to failures in psychologically adaptive ways, they will paralyze you, demotivate you, and limit your likelihood of success going forward.”

  • Failure makes the same goal seem less attainable.
  • Failure also distorts your perceptions of your abilities.
  • Failure makes you believe you’re helpless.
  • A single failure experience can create an unconscious fear of failure.
  • Fear of failure often leads to unconscious self-sabotaging.
  • Fear of failure can be transmitted from parents to children.
  • The pressure to succeed increases performance anxiety and causes choking.
  • A great way to overcome choking is to whistle or mutter.
  • Willpower is like a muscle—it needs rest and glucose to function best.
  • The psychologically healthiest response to failure is to focus on variables in your control.

About the author

Rém László a THE REAL SHIFTER Programok megalkotója, amely a megszokott módszerektől eltérő megközelítést kínál, ötvözve a valóságot és a spiritualitást, a nyugati tudást és a keleti filozófiákat, vezető coach-ok, mesterek és tanárok által bevált technikákkal.

I'd love to hear from you!

Want to take the next step towards success? Do you want to find solutions for yourself that bring simple but lasting change to your life?

You can choose from a variety of programs for you and your friends, as well as tailor-made workshops, mindset programs and personal consultations.

I'd like to have a talk with you to find out what works (or doesn't work), and together we can find what works best for you!

Hope to see you soon!

With Love and Gratitude,
László Rém 

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