I've been thinking a lot lately about how to make a difference to a multitude of human lives. So much is available, yet we seem to regularly choose the things that stop us in our tracks. And I include myself here, of course.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how to make a difference to a multitude of human lives. So much is available, yet we seem to regularly choose the things that stop us in our tracks. And I include myself here, of course.
I work with a lot of clients who want to change jobs, or relationships, or material lifelines, or even spiritually. But it seems the two things - the real world and the spiritual world are incompatible for many. No wonder, because any effort to uplift a person or group of people requires twice, if not more effort - or so we are led to believe - than keeping the old.
No need to change people. I know this. I don't intend to! I've learned so much in the last few years, I would say many times my previous experience. And not all of those experiences are comfortable or uplifting. Still, I have clarified my own boundaries. And a direction that also feels good. And that calls me to re-evaluate my past experiences. Not an easy task! Especially not for you Dear Reader, because you are probably reading these lines because you want to change. And as such, you need to rise above a few things.
The first of these, which has been a favourite saying of mine since I was on construction sites, is "That's how we do it!" So whatever the promise of another process, this is what we do, it's not worth changing! I'd have at least as many $100 bills as I've heard from other people, and from my own mind. Habit is the master! And indeed, as you have heard so many times from your mom and grandma, our habits make life automatic. There are many sayings that say that habits are good things! And I'm on that side, by the way, but. That particular but. Actions that become routine - habits better be actions that uplift you. Things that recharge you.
I'll give you an example. The vast majority of people focus mostly on what they have a shortage of. What they don't like. What makes their lives worse. This has its own value and reason of course. But do you know why this has developed in your case? Perhaps it is so strong in human nature to remember that you have to fight for everything, that you have lost the ability to develop enough in the meantime*. If you want a new pair of shoes, and you've checked them out for yourself, you find yourself thinking that everyone has those shoes! How is that possible? Maybe because it's called focus, and your mind helps you find them.
*Don't get me wrong. In terms of the total number of humanity, there are still less than 2-3% of people who can afford warm food, clothing and a home. Learning is probably not even that many. Without becoming a demagogue, there are the under 1% who have more wealth than the remaining 99%. Perhaps they could be developed.
So habits are not against you. Their role is simply to enable you to move beyond certain processes and engage in ones that build. They are creative.
"I can't do this!" Deep down, this phrase defines many people. Even when they have to present a different image to the outside world. I know it comes out slowly through the ears, but self-awareness, knowing yourself, makes a difference. My favorite saying is "If I can do it, so can YOU!!!" Well, no. It's catchy, isn't it?! Here's a recipe. All you have to do is stick to this and this for a while and you could achieve what I did! Anyone who has been in a legal dispute over the above sentence is automatically in the conditional mode. And there goes the dog! Because of course it might work, but it might not. By the way, I haven't come across many, and by that I mean that, as promised, there should be thousands of such success stories with dozens of the same results.
„Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out." - Jim Rohn
Self-awareness, self-esteem and similar terms have become like the Bull's balls on Wall Street... They shine with light because tourists caress them when they visit. The expressions we use at every turn, without content, have become trite. But they are also repulsive because they do not give us what we are looking for.
But... one of our greatest skills is self-awareness. Which is not easy. It's not something that can be fully learned from books. Often a lifetime is not enough to gain insight into the mysteries of the Body.
But if it's all just throwing around meaningless concepts, then the whole thing is a waste.
How about replacing "I can't do this" with "what can I do to do this better?" Which of course would start with "why do I want to do this?". Indeed. I remember when my friends were keen to go to technical schools because they wanted to get a profession and earn money. But alongside that, there was also the fact that they were thinking about how much they wanted to learn. When I chose a secondary vocational school, there was still a strong feeling that high schools were for people who didn't know what to do. But it was also beginning to make sense that an apprenticeship was not really a meaningful thing. It was looked down upon. I don't want to go into the reasons now, because it's a long subject, but in less than 20 years there are not many people who can do manual work. Further education has become a priority. Thousands of universities were churning out graduates, most of whom didn't know, don't know, what exactly it was they were graduating from. Not to mention the statistics on unemployment among graduates.
How many things in your life do you do just because your best friend is doing it? How many things do you do for yourself? Because you're good at it? Do you feel good about what you do? And of course it's a hard road because admitting something hurts sometimes. And you don't want that. But there are other ways to do it! If you use your honesty with yourself with the virtues of kindness and compassion, the sky is the limit!
"Let it go, I can't do this!" If you don't know yourself, your skills, your limitations, you will state this even when you would otherwise shake off the task at hand. In fact, this sentence has caused a lot of problems in the past. It has discouraged many people from even living. The more of us there are on this earth, the more fearful people we meet who think they have little! We are running out. And then comes the bickering, the under and over command. Politics and companionship.
If we're honest with ourselves, a lot of things we don't need, but something happens. Gradually, they want to shove it down our throats that we need to have more and more. Because of this, we get the feeling that what we have is not good enough, i.e. I am not good enough. When your automatisms control your life, you get lost in the process. You become one of the crowd. You become a number. When you step out of that, you become clearer about what you are surrounded by. What are the things that you have long ago bought, achieved, but don't use, so don't have. You need newer, more.
When you look around with clarity and notice the things around you, the question is not can you afford it, but do I really need it? Do I really want this in my world? From there it's just a step to the statement above, what can I do about it?
Programs have a huge impact on our lives. We program the phone when to wake up, but also when to go to bed. Some people "choose" their partners based on programs. We meet programs at every step of the way. But we also program ourselves. And not just as children, but also in an extraordinary way! But every day. Use that knowledge to build programs that lift you and your community up! You can't do one without the other.
Learn how to explore these programs and build new ones simply but deeply! Be prepared that longer term thinking is always more productive than sprints!